| No. It's a two letter word that can instantly send | | | | Random House Dictionary of "no," which is dissent, |
| chills down the spine of the strongest "strong man - | | | | meaning "difference of opinion." The parent's opinion |
| woman" and knocks the wind out of anyone's sails. In | | | | was that the fire would hurt. The child's opinion was |
| the entertainment industry it's a word you may hear | | | | that fire was so pretty how could it hurt?When we |
| a million times..."No." Even if you hear the word "No" | | | | got older and go to school, on the playground we |
| one million and one times, never give up! I know it | | | | may hear, "No, you can't play with me." The word |
| takes a lot of determination and motivation to get | | | | "no" then invokes an entirely different feeling then |
| passed that little word, but you can do it!"No" seems | | | | our first experiences with the word "no." It now |
| to have a million different feelings attached to it, | | | | means rejection! So "no" takes on the second part of |
| depending on how 'no' is interpreted. It also depends | | | | the Random House Dictionary's meaning of the word, |
| on the person's perceptions when he or she hears | | | | and that is a "negative vote."Another child on the |
| the word. Sometimes it can stop you in your tracks | | | | playground has cast a "negative vote" in our direction |
| especially when it pertains to your music, which is | | | | saying they don't want to play with us. We weren't |
| part of who you are.No seems to mean or be | | | | given an explanation as to why they didn't want to |
| interpreted as:1. They don't like what I have to say | | | | play with us, we were just told "no" and our minds |
| or sell.2. They don't like me.3. What's wrong with | | | | equated that to rejection.And so our lives continue in |
| me?4. What did I do differently than the other | | | | this pattern of association. The word "no" seems to |
| person who got the yes?6. I must not be as talented | | | | always be associated with something bad and seems |
| or knowledgeable as the person who got the yes.7. | | | | to stick in our memory far more times than we've |
| What haven't I got that the person who got the yes | | | | heard yes. Hurtful memories last the longest.So how |
| does?8. Did my talent just not measure up?There are | | | | can we change this? I can only speculate. Maybe we |
| many more thoughts that we can go through in our | | | | should go back to our childhood memories and |
| minds when we are rejected for whatever reason. | | | | re-program them so that the word "no" doesn't have |
| Too often we personalize the rejection as opposed | | | | such a great impact. Or maybe we just have to start |
| to simply realizing it's not really personal, it's just a | | | | right now and truly believe in our minds, what our |
| business decision for them.We all try to rationalize it | | | | mouths speak to our family and friends, and that |
| and say "It's just a word! It's not the first time I've | | | | is...that "no" is just a word.But I believe that we |
| heard it and it won't be the last time I hear it in this | | | | should take the third meaning in the Random House |
| business." But what we feel inside is so different.We | | | | Dictionary and apply it in a slightly revised, personal |
| feel total rejection and we can feel absolutely | | | | manner anytime we hear the word "no."For example, |
| demoralized. When the word "no" comes out of | | | | if I hear the word "no" now, when it's directly |
| someone's mouth regarding our work, it's as if we | | | | associated to anything that has to do with my art, I |
| were rejected and it can bring back subconscious | | | | say to myself, "They have 'not any' taste." "They |
| memories of our childhood.The Random House | | | | have 'not any' impact on my life." "They have 'not |
| Dictionary defines no as:"no, adv., n, pl. 1. word used | | | | any' clue as to what they are talking about." Then |
| to express dissent, denial, or refusal - n 2. negative | | | | that phrase seems to have so much less impact, and |
| vote - adj. 3. not any."As children we are told "no, | | | | feels a lot less like a "negative vote" towards my |
| don't touch that or you'll get burned." Although we | | | | personal being.And when I say these things to myself |
| hear our parents tell us that, we still want to touch | | | | and relate them directly to the word "no," it will no |
| that fire. After all, 'what does burn actually mean? | | | | longer be a rejection of me, but a rejection of the |
| And it's so pretty...I just want to touch it.' When we | | | | other person's belief system. After all, they are just |
| do...Ouch!Then our parents say, "I told you no, don't | | | | individuals whose belief systems are different then |
| touch that! Now do you see why?" Our minds then | | | | mine. From now on, when someone says 'no' to me, |
| equate "no" to the word 'ouch, you're going to get | | | | the negative impact is gone, and 'not any' anymore |
| hurt!' That would take on the first meaning in the | | | | will I let it affect me. |